Get the Drama Out of Your Life

Hello, this is Brother Thomas from Spiritus Lumine–the mystical path of secret knowledge and spiritual power! When you come to this website you’ll find many things that are supernatural–but you’ll also find some things that are ordinary and mundane.  The truth is, you can’t be a very spiritual person if you don’t take care of the day-to-day things. Today, we want to talk about something that’s really important–it’s called Getting the Drama Out of Your Life!

Drama and Spirituality Don’t Mix

If you want to be spiritual and have a high vibration, you have to learn how to get the drama out of your life. Practically speaking, it’s really hard to feel spiritual or influence others if you have the reputation of yelling, screaming, or saying bad things about people. Don’t expect to advance on the God-Continuum if you are constantly engaged in relational negativity.

We can’t expect to have mystical experiences if we’re the person who yells at their kids and lives in constant turmoil. We must place great attention on the important things that raise our vibration.

Brother Thomas

Don’t get me wrong! We’ve all been there. Like you, I’ve had my moments when I wasn’t the most peaceful person you ever met. I don’t claim to be a perfect person–much less imply that I never have drama in my life. To live on this planet means that you’re going to have drama in your life. But I have good news. I have a lot less tension than I used to have before. I want to tell you some of the things I’ve learned about getting the drama out of your life and living more peacefully. It’s allowed me to develop a higher vibration and to have mystical experiences more easily than before.

The Empowerment Dynamic – TED*

Though it takes work, the concepts I will speak about are very simple. I’m going to give you the principles I learned from reading David Emerald’s book, The Power of TED*. T-E-D stands for The Empowerment Dynamic. I encourage you to visit his website, read his books and buy everything that he has for sale. (How’s that for an endorsement?)

A Little History

Let’s explain the concepts of The Empowerment Dynamic. David Emerald build TED upon the work of psychologist Stephen Karpman and his drama triangle. Stephen Karpman built his drama triangle from the teachings of his good buddy Eric Berne. Berne, as some of you may know, was a really famous psychologist who created a wildly popular psychological approach known as Transactional Analysis that was popular in the 70s and 80s. But enough history.

The Dreaded Drama Triangle

Karpman and Emerald describe conflict and drama as a three-sided triangle. Each side represents a dysfunctional role. Problems and drama come as we adopt the role of a persecutor, an enabler (rescuer), or a victim. TED says that if you have drama in your life it’s because you are participating in one of these three roles–persecutor, rescuer, or victim. When you are participating in any of those roles you are caught in the Dreaded Drama Triangle. Let’s discuss the victim’s role first.

The Role of Victimhood

Victims are easy to find. These are the people who believe that nothing works out for them. I have a dear friend who’s really smart and has a doctorate. She was a career nurse and I’m sure she’s five times smarter than me. But I’ve heard her say more than once that she’s a “crap magnet!” Even though she’s joking (sort of), many people really believe this as their daily reality. This is known as victimhood–and it can be very dysfunctional and debilitating. Victims believe that bad things in the form of people, places, and things always come their way. Victims find it hard to believe that they have control over their lives. Thinking this way, believing that nothing they do matters, makes victims angry and resentful.

Victims see themselves as sufferers–and at the mercy of events beyond their control. They live in helplessness. They are always reaching out to ask if somebody will please help them. They’ll ask for help paying their bills, solving their problems, and talking to people on their behalf. They are convinced that most people don’t like them and that everyone is mean to them. You probably know people like this. 

From Victim to Creator

The antidote for victimhood is to become a Creator. When creators find themselves in a bad spot, they can get out of it by using the creative powers of their imagination to find a way forward.

Sooner or later bad things happen to everybody. There is a difference between being victimized by an event and constantly living in a state of victimhood going forward. What matters is whether you will use the power of your Spiritual Sovereignty to blaze new trails.

Brother Thomas

Going forward doesn’t mean that you’re going to like how the problem must be solved. If you’re in debt, you may have to start saving money and stop your spending. If you’re fat–you may have to go on a diet. If you’re skinny–you may have to eat a lot of food that you don’t like. Whatever. Creators know that there is always a way forward for those who are willing to call upon their imaginative powers.

The Role of Persecutor

The second role we will discuss is that of the persecutor. Persecutors are people who cannot stand the daily chaos and the messiness of life of those around them. They especially hate victims! You can recognize a persecutor because they will constantly complain, blame, and shame others for being less than perfect.

Persecutors are often bullies. They will blame and judge others for not doing things their way. They don’t mind telling others how to live their lives or what to do with them. Persecutors don’t want to do things for you–they just want to tell you what to do. They can be brutally honest–saying things that you’d rather not hear because they think you need to know their thoughts–or that somebody needs to speak plain with you. They may tell you the truth, but it is often delivered harshly or in a mean-spirited way. 

Persecutors often believe they are smarter than others and that the rest should listen to them and do as they say. They don’t have a lot of tolerance.  When persecutors don’t get their way, they can be tough people to be around.

From Persecutor to Challenger and Coach

We can also be a persecutor to ourself. Often times people are filled with self-loathing and hatred. The negative self-talk that some people carry can be a real downer. If you see persecutor traits in you, there is a way out. Become more of a challenger and coach. 

Coaches hold people accountable and expect everyone to do their best. The best coaches don’t blame or shame–they encourage. An encouraging coach can help others find their way forward. We all need good coaching. But remember, coaches should not give unsolicited advice. Instead, they help those who ask and show others how to do things for themselves. And that brings us to the last dysfunctional role of the Dreaded Drama Triangle–the role of rescuer or enabler.

The Role of Rescue-Enabler

The Rescue-enabler person takes over people’s lives by doing too much. I have found myself in this role too many times! They are always doing things for others. This may not sound like a bad quality–until you remember that people can’t t learn to take care of themselves if others are always doing the hard things for them. It’s one thing to be nice or do something for someone and another to step-in and do everything.

The hidden message of an enabler is You can’t do this yourself–so I’ll have to step in and rescue you!” Sometimes the message is even harsher. “I just don’t think you are smart enough to solve your problems so you best let the smart people (like me) take over!”  This kind of dysfunctional behavior doesn’t help–except for the short term. We all know the saying that if you want to help a person eat–teach them how to fish. Teaching a person to fish helps them learn a way of feeding themselves for the rest of their life. By giving someone a fish,  they may enjoy a great fish dinner–but soon they will be hungry again. 

The I Do, We Do, You Do Principle

Rescuers must learn to pull back and not be so quick to offer help. When we do offer help we should do it in a way that teaches them how to do it on their own once we are done. This leads me to a principle which I call the I do,  we do, then you do.

First, I’ll show you how something is done. Then, I’ll work with you to show you how to do what needs to be done. Finally, I’m going to step away and let you do the job for yourself. This is a great parenting skill by the way. Let’s say you want to teach your child how to clean a bathroom.

First, we should never assume that a child, teenager, or anyone for that matter, just naturally knows how to do something–like clean a bathroom! For Heaven’s Sake, they’re teenagers! First, show them how you want the bathroom to be cleaned. Then, clean the bathroom together. Finally, let them clean the bathroom without you–and offer feedback after you inspect their work.

Teaching people how to do things for themselves is an important spiritual principle as well. We cannot be a spiritual sovereign as long as we expect everyone else to tell us what to think, say, and do. As we master the simple things–we become able to manage larger things. And that’s where we want to be in life–knowing that we are able to do whatever needs to be done.

Raise Your Vibration by Ending Drama

I encourage you to read the book, The Empowerment Dynamic. Remember, the more drama you eliminate from your life the happier you’ll be. The happier you are–the higher your vibration. As your vibration rises, metaphysical, mystical, psychic, and spiritually powerful things begin to happen to you. This allows you to become the lightworker you were meant to be.

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